Junior marauder
by LittleBundleOfAcid
Summary: James waits outside while Lily gives birth. Read in 1/2 or 3/4 format please.


A/N: Please read in 1/2 format. Otherwise, it looks shorter than it is.

James Potter was not a patient man. He never had been, never would be, and did not want to be patient. Those who knew him knew that he was not patient, and understood that he could not wait for something.

So why on Earth was he being made wait outside while his wife gave birth? It wasn't like the healers had kicked him out, or that he didn't want to be there when his child was born. Lily had simply decided she "didn't want the bastard that had done this" to her around while she was in excruciating pain. Lily was a great woman, with a rather admirable amount of patience, but when she wanted someone to do something, when she got angry…they did what she wanted and didn't try to calm her down. The biggest mistake anyone could make was trying to calm Lily Potter nee Evans down.

Sirius had tried that once, during their seventh year, and Lily had made it so he had not been able to have sex for six months. His girlfriend hadn't believed the marauder that sweet Lily Evans could have done something like that, and had dumped him because she thought he no longer wanted to date her. Yeah, bummer, right? Not for Lily.

Fortunately for Padfoot, his girlfriend had told her sister, who had told someone else, who had quickly spread it around the school. Some idiotic fourth year had told Lily that someone was spreading untrue rumours about her, and once she had heard what they didn't believe her capable of; she had used the same curse on him too. In the Great Hall. In front of the entire school.

Needless to say, no one ever joked about Lily PMSing again.

James winced as he heard one of the healers get thrown against the door of the room his wife was currently giving birth in. He was not surprised when it opened and half the healers/nurses that had been assisting the birth walk out, shaking with shock. He was not all that surprised that the healers that had been forced to leave were all male. Lily had most likely threatened to "dispose" of their manhood or something of the like, if they did not.

She had, after all, been yelling about men telling her to calm down when they had never and would never experience the pain she was going through. James had a feeling he wouldn't be getting any for a while, and that if they had other children, this child would be old enough to remember their mother being pregnant.

"Sir! Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't go in there. Sir! You and your friend can not go in there without authorization."

James chuckled as he heard the labour ward's receptionist's outraged exclamation. He didn't have to turn around to know that the rest of the marauders were there. Only Padfoot and Moony could cause a ruckus like that. Plus, only Sirius would use the line "Darling, I wouldn't dream of going there without authorization" and only Moony could use a very professional voice when saying "Entry authorized, Marauder Padfoot".

When James did turn, it was to see that he had been right about Padfoot and Moony having arrived. Peter was absent, however, and James suspected that it had something to do with him disappearing so often. Peter probably had a new girlfriend or something, and was afraid of the embarrassing stories the marauders could tell her. He was a little hurt that Peter hadn't visited in a while, and was going to miss the birth of his child, but at least Padfoot and Moony were there.

He could survive anything as long as he had his mates, including his wife threatening to castrate him. As long as she didn't actually do it, that was. If she did…well, James really wanted more than one kid.

"Any news yet? And what in the name of Merlin's pants are you doing standing outside the room in which your currently sexless junior marauder is being born?"

Padfoot's questions were asked in such a hyper way that even James was taken aback. Remus, however, just rolled his eyes and put a hand on Sirius' right shoulder to attempt to calm him down.

"Calm down, Padfoot! You're panicking Prongs."

He turned, smiling fondly at memories and told James that Sirius had drank six butterbeers before they had found out Lily was in labour. So everyone's favourite dog was hyper.

"You'd swear it was his kid being born, Prongs."

Padfoot pouted, his excitement dampened by his friends' teasing.

"_**James Potter! I am so….so....get your ass back in here, right now."**_

James cringed as wife's voice (most likely magically enhanced) filled the corridor he was waiting in. Padfoot and Moony gave him sympathetic glances; now they knew why he was outside. Both of them turned to the other, chortled, and placed a hand each on James' shoulders.

"Good luck, Prongs" was all Remus said to his friend, feeling pity for him, but unable to stop laughing.

"Yeah, don't worry. We'll make sure your kid knows who you are. Lily won't be alone. Moony and I will make sure she knows that even though she murdered her husband, we love her."

Then he too broke into laughter. James face was one of fear, but he couldn't delay going back in anymore, especially when his wife's voice once again filled the corridor.

"_**James! You get in here right now, or I will use castrato on you once I have this child! And that is not just an empty threat."**_

James once again winced before pushing open the door to the room his soon-to-be-no-longer-pregnant wife was in.


End file.
